Only my closest friends (and you , gentle readers) have know the whole truth about what has been going on with the Wolf these last few months. After the weekend, and where my head is now, I have "come out of the closet" about it.
I told one person at the legion where I bar tend (my manager). I told her I wasn't broadcasting the news, but I wanted her to know; and as I expected in a small village, an hour and a half later I was at the local café and someone came up to me to offer their sympathy. I find that mildly amusing, but I am OK with it; I expected it, and it is easier than having to tell people myself.
I also referred to the Wolf out loud in public last night as "my ex". It felt really strange to say it.
Earlier in the day I had posted about it on a MilSpouse chat forum I belong to. The folks there have been nothgin but fully supportive.
All of this is a really strange combination of incredibly painful (facing reality) and strangely liberating, like a wieght has been lifted of my shoulders.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
7 comments:
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As I've mentioned before, your honesty, openness and willingness to deal with what is happening to you, not as a victim but as a human being trying to grow be true to herself is refreshing and quite frankly a helpful example to me and others I'm sure.
ReplyDeleteDealing with life on life's own terms is never easy but the rewards of doing so and being true to one's self are truly wonderful. Hang in there...
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ReplyDeleteHugs girl. It is going to have it's painful moments but this is what YOU need to do. Put YOU first and start living YOUR life.
ReplyDeleteI'm really sorry to read this. I hope nothing is final yet. That you get a chance to face each other and work things out. If not, then you tried. Hugs, my flat-assed friend.
ReplyDeleteAll comment made to you are mirror of your own thoughts. Though some seem to have been hiding behind 'shades'.....they were just beyond 'awareness' waiting to surge into the forefront again.
ReplyDeleteIt is always difficult when one begins processing the pros & cons of where one is....was....and hopes to be. The 'shades' are comfortable places which we learn to draw from convoluted examples set by those we look up to. Sometimes the 'shades' become drawn so tight...that the only thing which helps to open them...is an 'independent review board'...such as a blog....one of the experiences many find in conversing with 'strangers'.
Some comments offer only sympathy which while comforting....merely serves the same old 'cup of coffee' because sympathy requires mere opinion.
Some comments offer empathy which requires comprehension of the situation in a 'fullness' based in experience....which has to contain a lot of hindsight.
Each aspect contributes simply because each is pertinent in different ways. Sympathetic is an interesting word when broken in two....sym or symbiosis........and pathetic or useless. Sympathetic words allow one to feel somewhat supported.....and we may recognize a "pathology" or what might be recognized as 'pathetic'.....in our attitude while reviewing another's words......which we hadn't seen clearly before. It is therein...that opportunity to learn from the situation and move into a new 'space' of attitude exists.
And, of course, this is where empathy becomes helpful. Empathy implies comprehension of a 'pathetic' or 'pathological' situation.In the study of others empathic statements we can find inspiration.....which helps us adopt freer attitudes..
This is the way we grow in all ways...and always.
Only you know what will give you happiness... ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteAw, crap. I've been out of the loop too long.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear you've been hurting. But I think you've done the right thing (and, of course, it matters what I think about your life... ha!)
Hang in there, mate.