Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
A trap ...
The Wolf works mainly ITW, but one of my biggest fears was always him being called out to retrieve a downed/disabled vehicle, and having a remote IED detonated. This is precisely why most downed/disabled helos, and possibly other assets, are destroyed (via airstrike) rather than retrieved, to prevent the loss of (more) personelle.
While I though the tactic of luring sodliers out specifically with the intent of remote detonating an IED was despicable, I did, kind of, understand it as a tactic.But to lure MEDICS out and remote detonate an IED? To specifically target medical personelle?
My heart keeps finding new ways to break in this war.
(note: neither of the recent casualties was my friend the medic ... but still ...)
Friday, June 25, 2010
Contact ....
A quick e-mail sent in what was the wee hours of this morning for me ... but contact.
He is hurting, badly, emotionally ... but he is physically whole, and safe, and can acknowledge his grief while keeping himself, and his boys, whole and safe.
Thanks for caring, gang.
He is hurting, badly, emotionally ... but he is physically whole, and safe, and can acknowledge his grief while keeping himself, and his boys, whole and safe.
Thanks for caring, gang.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Modern Communication: The double edged sword.
I had been thinking for a while, and Coffey raised the point, regarding how different modern MilSpouses have it, compared to the communications that WWI and WWII wives/parents had.
Sattelite phones. Video calls. E-mail. MSN. Blogs. FaceBook. Canada Post outlets on bases, mail service and parcel service through the forces.
If we need to make a decision on something, need to talk something over, bounce an idea off our partner, we can. We get regular reassurance that they are safe, well, alive.
Until it stops.
I am not in any way saying that I would give up all the communication and contact that we have available to us. Not on your life.
But when that communication stops, a small part of me wonders if, without that expectation of contact, my mind and heart would be more at ease.
Sattelite phones. Video calls. E-mail. MSN. Blogs. FaceBook. Canada Post outlets on bases, mail service and parcel service through the forces.
If we need to make a decision on something, need to talk something over, bounce an idea off our partner, we can. We get regular reassurance that they are safe, well, alive.
Until it stops.
Spouses in the day of snail-mail only knew that they were holding the fort on their own. They knew that they had to be mom & dad, make those decisions with whatever support network they had in place. They didn't expect letters, and were, I am guessing, happy when they did get one. A lack of communication didn't make the dark nights any darker. No news was, often, good news.
I am not in any way saying that I would give up all the communication and contact that we have available to us. Not on your life.
But when that communication stops, a small part of me wonders if, without that expectation of contact, my mind and heart would be more at ease.
I understand that the reality of his job means he will be out of communication from time to time. My brain knows that. My heart resents it.
So I snuggle with my bear, and send him positive thoughts, send him my love. I know he can feel it across the miles. I know we have that connection, that he gets random warm fuzzies from me, and it gives me some comfort as well.
If you haven't picked up on it, no, I haven't had any contact with him yet.
(PS ~ No, none of the pics yesterday were of me, but they suited my mood)
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Needy ...
OK, I have been trying to stay light and fluffy, but damn it that last Canadian casualty was too close to home.
I need to hear from him. Just his "Allo" to let me know he is OK, mentally, emotionally. I need him to make contact, for the sake of making contact.
I *know* they were on comms lockdown, and he is very busy right now, for the same reasons that I need to hear from him. Knowing does not make it any easier to deal with.
I have gotten to used to regular contact from him. He is too good at maintaining the connection, so when it has been a while, and when shit happens, I am waiting for a message, needing a message ....
Eight and a half weeks since he left Canadian soil. God only knows how many till he comes home.
I thought I was getting better at this.
I need to hear from him. Just his "Allo" to let me know he is OK, mentally, emotionally. I need him to make contact, for the sake of making contact.
I *know* they were on comms lockdown, and he is very busy right now, for the same reasons that I need to hear from him. Knowing does not make it any easier to deal with.
I have gotten to used to regular contact from him. He is too good at maintaining the connection, so when it has been a while, and when shit happens, I am waiting for a message, needing a message ....
Eight and a half weeks since he left Canadian soil. God only knows how many till he comes home.
I thought I was getting better at this.
No Longer an E-Bay Virgin ...
Yes, I finally gave in and made my first e-bay purchases.
I have a regular at the legion where I bar tend who is an e-bay addict, and he has been "coaching" me on the finer points of getting bargains and staying safe. So I finally broke down last week and bid on a few things, of which I got 4 ~ spending a whole $27.42, including shipping. I am such a wild child.
What did I buy? Oh come on, you know me by now ~ I bought rocks, and glass beads, for jewellery making :-) .
I think he would like it.
I have a regular at the legion where I bar tend who is an e-bay addict, and he has been "coaching" me on the finer points of getting bargains and staying safe. So I finally broke down last week and bid on a few things, of which I got 4 ~ spending a whole $27.42, including shipping. I am such a wild child.
What did I buy? Oh come on, you know me by now ~ I bought rocks, and glass beads, for jewellery making :-) .
Considering the Pandora brand-name glass beads cost $40 a piece, and I got 3 galss beads and 10 rock beads for my $27.42, I think I did OK. Adding to the coolness factor, for me, is that the shop where I got the glass beads is ran by an American Mil Spouse. Task Force Home Front!!
I am just hoping they fit on 550 Para Cord. :-)
I was looking for a t-shirt for Sebastian as well. There is a t-shirt from the good folks over at Ranger Up, who I quite like. There are, however, 2 problems: 1) the t-shirt I want is currently out of stock and 2) the t-shirt is on sale for $13, but shipping to Canada is $19 on top of that ... not that the boy isn;t worth it, but it bugs me when the shipping is more than the item! I have not yet been able to find it anywhere cheaper.
The t-shirt? See for yourself:
Friday, June 18, 2010
Red Friday - Support the Troops
Possible Kleenex alert.
This is a true story !
http://www.snopes.com/military/charliebrown.asp
The real Charlie Brown
Look carefully at the B-17 and note how shot up it is - one engine dead, tail, horizontal stabilizer and nose shot up.. It was ready to fall out of the sky. (This is a painting done by an artist from the description of both pilots many years later.) Then realize that there is a German ME-109 fighter flying next to it.
Now read the story below. I think you'll be surprised .
Charlie Brown was a B-17 Flying Fortress pilot with the 379th BomberGroup at Kimbolton, England . His B-17 was called 'Ye Old Pub' and was in a terrible state, having been hit by flak and fighters. The compass was damaged and they were flying deeper over enemy territory instead of heading home to Kimbolton.
After flying the B-17 over an enemy airfield, a German pilot named Franz Stigler was ordered to take off and shoot down the B-17. When he got near the B-17, he could not believe his eyes. In his words, he 'had
never seen a plane in such a bad state'. The tail and rear section was severely damaged, and the tail gunner wounded. The top gunner was all over the top of the fuselage. The nose was smashed and there were holes everywhere.
Despite having ammunition, Franz flew to the side of the B-17 and looked at Charlie Brown, the pilot. Brown was scared and struggling to control his damaged and blood-stained plane.
BF-109 pilot Franz Stigler
B-17 pilot Charlie Brown
Aware that they had no idea where they were going, Franz waved at Charlie to turn 180 degrees. Franz escorted and guided the stricken plane to, and slightly over, the North Sea towards England . He then saluted Charlie Brown and turned away, back to Europe . When Franz landed he told the CO that the plane had been shot down over the sea, and never told the truth to anybody. Charlie Brown and the remains of his crew told all at their briefing, but were ordered never to talk about it.
More than 40 years later, Charlie Brown wanted to find the Luftwaffe pilot who saved the crew.. After years of research, Franz was found {edit add: living peacefully in Vancouver, BC, Canada}. He had never talked about the incident, not even at post-war reunions.
They met in the USA at a 379th Bomber Group reunion, together with 25 people who are alive now - all because Franz never fired his guns that day.
(L-R) German Ace Franz Stigler, artist Ernie Boyett, and B-17 pilot Charlie Brown.
When asked why he didn't shoot them down, Stigler later said, "I didn't have the heart to finish those brave men. I flew beside them for a long time. They were trying desperately to get home and I was going to let them do that. I could not have shot at them. It would have been the same as shooting at a man in a parachute.
Both men died in 2008
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
A Game of Thrones ... and a pitter patter of my ♥
The teaser is up on HBO'c US web site for the A GAME OF THRONES pilot.
Sean Bean, who I have a bit of a crush on, is playing Eddard Stark. I don't know what it is about the man I find attractive, but I sure do enjoy looking at him.
So, for my own benefit, and for anyone who agrees with me, some eye candy, and some aGoT warm ups:
For those of you who don't know, A Game of Thrones is the first book in the Song of Fire and Ice series written by George R R Martin.
Sean Bean, who I have a bit of a crush on, is playing Eddard Stark. I don't know what it is about the man I find attractive, but I sure do enjoy looking at him.
So, for my own benefit, and for anyone who agrees with me, some eye candy, and some aGoT warm ups:
For those of you who don't know, A Game of Thrones is the first book in the Song of Fire and Ice series written by George R R Martin.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Chivalry isn't dead ...
... its just kinda confused.
In my grandparent's day, when a couple were walking down the street, the man walked on the outside to keep the woman from getting splashed with mud from passing cars. In later generations, the man walked on the outside to protect the woman from getting grabbed and pulled into a passing car. Unless you are in an area where the woman might get grabbed by someone in an alley, in which case the man should walk onthe inside. Except the "alley" neighbourhoods and the "grabbed into a car" neighbourhoods might be the same neighbourhoods.
Of course, in the middle east, the woman walks in front so she can clear the land mines ....
*sigh*
This was prompted by a male friend of mine asking me the other day, while we were walking in a city, "which side of you am I supposed to walk on"? The look on his face would have been comical if he had not been so earnest.
From that thought, flows this:
I find it kinda sad that we live in a time where, if you are somewhere with a man you don't know well, he feels obliged to ask, cautiously, "Is it OK if I hold the door for you?"
I have never been described as a feminist. Castrating bitch occasionally, and every now and again I get called a "Dyke", but never a feminist. :-)
And I don't mind if a man holds the door for me. I will, of course, hold a door for another human who is behind me, regardless of their gender. I believe this is called "common courtesy".
I don't think women are inferior OR superior to men; but we are different.
As I have mentioned before, I hunt, I cut down trees, I trap shoot ... and I sew, and bake, and cook, and like to look and feel pretty. I like it when my man "claims me" in little ways in public, makes sure the other males know I am taken, and he will look out for me; makes me feel safe, protected ... but not when he treats me like I am incapeable of looking after myself. (Yes, I realize this makes things hard on a date).
I have friends who have chosen to stay out of the paid workforce while their children are young, and stay home and run the household and raise the kids. I don't think this makes them weak, a chattel, or dis-empowers them. You would only have to know most of these women for 5 minutes to agree with me! I think that people who tell them they have "sacrificed" or given something up by making their choice are the ones seeking to take power away from them, their power to choose their own life path.
Seriously, when we as women can't even agree on what is "correct", can we blame the poor man who is so confused by what he is "supposed to do", that he is paralysed by his fear of doing the wrong thing, so does nothing at all?
In my grandparent's day, when a couple were walking down the street, the man walked on the outside to keep the woman from getting splashed with mud from passing cars. In later generations, the man walked on the outside to protect the woman from getting grabbed and pulled into a passing car. Unless you are in an area where the woman might get grabbed by someone in an alley, in which case the man should walk onthe inside. Except the "alley" neighbourhoods and the "grabbed into a car" neighbourhoods might be the same neighbourhoods.
Of course, in the middle east, the woman walks in front so she can clear the land mines ....
*sigh*
This was prompted by a male friend of mine asking me the other day, while we were walking in a city, "which side of you am I supposed to walk on"? The look on his face would have been comical if he had not been so earnest.
From that thought, flows this:
I find it kinda sad that we live in a time where, if you are somewhere with a man you don't know well, he feels obliged to ask, cautiously, "Is it OK if I hold the door for you?"
I have never been described as a feminist. Castrating bitch occasionally, and every now and again I get called a "Dyke", but never a feminist. :-)
And I don't mind if a man holds the door for me. I will, of course, hold a door for another human who is behind me, regardless of their gender. I believe this is called "common courtesy".
I don't think women are inferior OR superior to men; but we are different.
As I have mentioned before, I hunt, I cut down trees, I trap shoot ... and I sew, and bake, and cook, and like to look and feel pretty. I like it when my man "claims me" in little ways in public, makes sure the other males know I am taken, and he will look out for me; makes me feel safe, protected ... but not when he treats me like I am incapeable of looking after myself. (Yes, I realize this makes things hard on a date).
I have friends who have chosen to stay out of the paid workforce while their children are young, and stay home and run the household and raise the kids. I don't think this makes them weak, a chattel, or dis-empowers them. You would only have to know most of these women for 5 minutes to agree with me! I think that people who tell them they have "sacrificed" or given something up by making their choice are the ones seeking to take power away from them, their power to choose their own life path.
Seriously, when we as women can't even agree on what is "correct", can we blame the poor man who is so confused by what he is "supposed to do", that he is paralysed by his fear of doing the wrong thing, so does nothing at all?
Friday, June 11, 2010
Red Friday - Support the Troops
For anyone who wonders why international troops are making the sacrifices they do in Afghanistan and other countries:
(Disturbing images ~ viewer advisory)
CNN Video ~ Forced Child Marriages
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
The Promise - Tracy Chapman
The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
~ Carl Jung ~
~~~~~~~~~
I came across this song on someone else's blog, and although I think it has a different meaning for her than it does to me, I wanted to pass it along.
The beauty of song ~ someone else's words, which meant one thing to them, speaks to us the message we need to hear at the time.
Blessings on you all, my friends
re-naming the blog ...
"The Wolf and The Crow" no longer seems an appropriate title for this blog, since the Wolf is not the majot player he once was in my life. He will always be part of my life, but is no longer "title material", if you follow me.
So I am opening up to suggestions for a new title. The Crow's Journey, and The Crow's Flight are both dancing in my brain, but neither seems to fit right. Possibly the Crow's Squawk?
Gentle readers, I look forward to your creativity.
So I am opening up to suggestions for a new title. The Crow's Journey, and The Crow's Flight are both dancing in my brain, but neither seems to fit right. Possibly the Crow's Squawk?
Gentle readers, I look forward to your creativity.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
The Pic ...
I am sorry for the teaser in my last post, but OpSec is ingrained too deeply into me to let me post the picture ... he is in full gear, and there are not a lot of identifying features, but still ... I just can't. Maybe when he is back in Canada, safe, I can share it some day. I wrestled with it, and came here to do it, but I just can't.
I did mention I have OCPD, didn't I? You can add to that my dad was a prison guard who became a cop, and my mom was a school teacher who became a librarian ... I have this thing about rules ...
~~~~~~~~
I did just have a lovely 1 1/2 hour MSN chat with Sebastian. He seems in good spirits, and he is doing well. Two of his boys had a very close call the other night, found an IED the hard way, but no one was injured, so its all good.
It is obviously concerning that the casualty rate is increasing, as it always does in the summer. I have to have faith that he is well trained, and smart, and damn good at what he does.
Mentally he seems in a better place than just before he left. He is talking about things he wants to do when he gets home, things he wants to get ( a pug, for example ).
He has also bought himself a helmet camera, so I look forward to some video. I asked him to please not send my any videos of camel spiders; he said no worries, they only come out at night and he didn't get the night vision package. I soooooo did not need to know that camel spiders are nocturnal. Seriously, I could have happily lived my entire life without knowing that.
~~~~~~~~~
And in a true act of randomness, the Wolf messaged me out of the blue the other day, and has been commenting on my Face Book and other forms of contact again. The last time he started a conversation with me was early December.
He was finally responding to my request for "a couple of words to let me know he was OK" after the news reports of the rocket attacks on KAF.
His opening line? "You worry too much"
*sigh*
~~~~~~~~~
My silly season at work is OVER , so I hope to be back to being a more regular blogger.
Take care of yourselves, my friends.
I did mention I have OCPD, didn't I? You can add to that my dad was a prison guard who became a cop, and my mom was a school teacher who became a librarian ... I have this thing about rules ...
~~~~~~~~
I did just have a lovely 1 1/2 hour MSN chat with Sebastian. He seems in good spirits, and he is doing well. Two of his boys had a very close call the other night, found an IED the hard way, but no one was injured, so its all good.
It is obviously concerning that the casualty rate is increasing, as it always does in the summer. I have to have faith that he is well trained, and smart, and damn good at what he does.
Mentally he seems in a better place than just before he left. He is talking about things he wants to do when he gets home, things he wants to get ( a pug, for example ).
He has also bought himself a helmet camera, so I look forward to some video. I asked him to please not send my any videos of camel spiders; he said no worries, they only come out at night and he didn't get the night vision package. I soooooo did not need to know that camel spiders are nocturnal. Seriously, I could have happily lived my entire life without knowing that.
~~~~~~~~~
And in a true act of randomness, the Wolf messaged me out of the blue the other day, and has been commenting on my Face Book and other forms of contact again. The last time he started a conversation with me was early December.
He was finally responding to my request for "a couple of words to let me know he was OK" after the news reports of the rocket attacks on KAF.
His opening line? "You worry too much"
*sigh*
~~~~~~~~~
My silly season at work is OVER , so I hope to be back to being a more regular blogger.
Take care of yourselves, my friends.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Heart melted ...
just a little bit more a few minutes ago.
Sebastian sent me a new pic for today ~ of him in a vilage surrounded by local children, with the biggest, happiest, most honest grin on his face I have seen in a long time. Most of the kids are grinning too.
I love that man, for all that he is.
Sebastian sent me a new pic for today ~ of him in a vilage surrounded by local children, with the biggest, happiest, most honest grin on his face I have seen in a long time. Most of the kids are grinning too.
I love that man, for all that he is.
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