Flowers for Leontien

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5's and 20's and ...

I have no idea what the photo in the video has to do with the song, but its the thought that counts ...


So, yes, I have been in crazy work mode, that is why I haven't been posting.  In the eye of the storm right now; the next round of craziness starts Tuesday, so I will be off the radar again for a week or so.


Yesterday saw the second e-mail from the Wolf.  Once again, I forwarded it to the local LEOs to deal with.


Then I wrote up a list of possible locations that he would take me in the event that he wanted to "take me somewhere to talk" privately; locations that have some sort of emotional loading with respect to our relationship, and a brief description of the emotional connection to the location. I told a couple of friends where the list is (top drawer of my wine rack, FYI).


We are approaching the Wolf's birthday (next week).  Three years ago he was in Savannah, GA on training with the US National Guard unit there for a few months.  We had been talking about me flying down for his birthday (the big 40), but I would only be able to squeeze in a couple of days, due to it being my silly season at work.  He was then told he would be doing his work-up for the sand at a Canadian base very close to me (which of course ended up being changed).  We decided, mutually I thought, that it would make more sense for me to save my money and visit more often when he was close to me and doing work up, than to come to Georgia.  He did make a comment later on that made me wonder if the decision was not as mutual as I had thought.


The song is a reference to a conversation I once had with Sebastian about abductions.  He told me that if anyone ever used soft restraints on me to struggle against them and make sure that there were marks left on my wrists/ankles, so there would be evidence for the LEOs.  Red also commented this morning (when I told her the location of the "places" list) to make sure I left a trail to be followed if I could.  I really wish I didn't have to have conversations like that.


Speaking of Sebastian, I have had a couple more interactions with him, but mostly related to him finding stuff of mine that was at his place and returning it.  I did tell him that I desperately wanted to fight to save what we had, because I believe it was worth saving, but his mind, at the moment is made up and I am out of his life.  His comments to me are becoming increasingly hostile and he is reading things into my words that are not there at all; he has shut down his FB account completely.  I really hope he is not isolating himself from everyone who cares about him.

~~~~~~~~~

So that's a quick glimpse into my world.  Oh, and I've worked 80 -90 hours a week the last few weeks, facilitated the planting of 12,250 trees, bar tended a couple of shifts because "no-one else could", and managed to get my lawn cut twice!  I've even managed to sleep occasionally.


Once more into the fray ... 

Group Therapy ...

Red Friday - Military Minds - D-Smoke & Rooks McCoy

Click HERE to download this song for free - http://bit.ly/TASMMDWNLD
Military Minds is an organization spreading awareness about PTSD, and works hard to get Veterans back on their feet after they return from deployment.

http://www.militaryminds.ca 

Be careful ...

From the files of "Be careful what energy you call", ...


I got an e-mail from the Wolf on Wednesday.  Yes, the Wolf, who is under a no contact order from both local law enforcement and his chain of command.  That wolf.


It was just a forwarded joke, but my heart still jumped up and said hello to my brain for a moment.  I am giving him the benefit of the doubt that he clicked my name by mistake, but I still forwarded it to the detective in charge of the file.


Why does he still have my address in his e-mail contact list?


What if it wasn't a mistake, what if it was a shot across the bow, a reminder that he is still there?


I am mostly OK, assuming like I said that either it was a mistake, or he is just being an ass.  I went from freaked out to pissed off pretty darn quickly this time, at least.  I think that shows personal growth ...


Otherwise, spring is still springing, and things are fast and furious at work.   


Hope everyone is well!  Take care of yourselves, and each other.

Yay Blogger!

Blogger has FINALLY updated their Canadian interface, allowing me to turn off that blasted Word Verification.

Thank you Blogger!!!!!!!

Lunch with TEDx

Work still busy.  Please enjoy this, and ponder ...