Joan Armatrading - Love & Affection (From "Steppin' Out DVD)

With a friend, I can smile
But with a lover I could hold my head back 
I could really laugh, Really laugh

...

Now I got all The friends that I want
I may need more 
But I shall just stick to those That I have got 

Red Friday ~ Post Traumatic Growth

The Chinese character for Crisis is also the character for Opportunity ...

Check out this article in the New York Times:

Post-Traumatic Stress’s Surprisingly Positive Flip Side

The job thing ...

Aside: Love you to bits, Coffey. ♥ 

~~~~~~~~~

Update #1 ~ The job thing.

Back at the end of September the powers that be in the government announced, (finally, and after almost a year an a half of rumours and angst) that they were ending the program I worked for.  I watched the program be born in 1995, and I served it in all stages; as student labour, as a volunteer, as a committee chair, and finally as the paid coordinator.  I poured my heart and soul into the program, and the way it was ended kind of made a lot of us feel like our contribution was insignificant and unimportant in the eyes of our higher ups.

With the end of the program, my position was "declared surplus".  I could elect to terminate my employment and take a severance package, or stay with the government and hope for "re-deployment".  (Who comes up with these terms? Seriously?).  I examined my options, and, with some input from various advisors, elected to take the package.  My last day of employment was November 30.

I spent December trying to catch up on sleep, de-stress, get myself back into a routine of good eating, exercising, and life balance, and oh ya, helping my folks get ready for Christmas.  By the break between Christmas and New Years I was starting to feel like my old self again.  I also managed to actually do a bunch of crafts and baking that I had filed in that wonderful "some day" file, Pinterest :)

I had been keeping my eye on positions along the way, but only expressing interest in things I was actually wanted, which weren't many.  I was just starting to think I had to get less picky, when I got a phone call for an interview for the position that I was most interested in.  Long story short, on Monday they offered me the job, and on Tuesday I accepted it.  I consider myself very lucky that in today's economy, I was basically only off for the ideal amount of time to re-charge my batteries.

It is significantly less money that I had been making, but I get to stay in the area.  I had thought that moving wouldn't be a problem; after all, I have moved a fair bit in my life; but the more I thought about leaving, the more I wanted to stay in a place where I had friends, connections, and memories.  Now I can.  I will also still be doing similar things, working with community groups and schools, doing the things I love, and working with good people.  Hopefully, if some paperwork processes, I can start next week.

Update # 2, the potential love life, to follow soon ...

Moving on ...

Wow guys; I know its been forever, and I know every time I pop in I say I'll come back and fill in the blanks, but ... forgive me if I indulge in another one of those "part of the story" posts.

Things have been wild - I did get laid off at the end of November, but just accepted a new position today, one that promises lots of cool opportunities  and good people to work with.

I've also been kinda, sorta, almost seeing someone.  We've only been together in groups with other people, but we have been texting and instant messengering almost every night.  We live in separate towns, but not too far away.  And no, he's not military, and he doesn't have PTSD.

Which brings me to tonight.

We were messengering, and he had to go do something, and he typed "I'll be right back", to which I replied "I'll be here" ... and then froze, and then burst out sobbing

Because that's what I used to say to Sebastian when he left - He'd hold me tight and tell me that he'd be back, I would say "I'll be here", and he would say "I know you will" and give me that grin ...

I know that he was in my life to help me heal and learn lessons, and that now he is gone from my life; I have accepted that.  But every once in a while those little memories sneak up and bite me in the ass.  I guess I just need to acknowledge them and honour them for what they are, and move forward. And remember to value what I have, for you never know how long it will last.

And if this new relationship goes forward, I should likely give the poor guy a heads up that if I randomly burst into tears, not to take it personally.  I am not sure how much of my history he knows; and most of the folks in this little small town don't know anything but the very basics.  But that conversation can wait.

Love you all.

There is a song called "Diamonds" from a Canadian Band called Chesterfield Inlet.  Unfortunately, they don't allow any of their stuff on You Tube, or I would link it for you.

So you know when I drill down and pull out a sample of what I'm standing on,
Its all still there, layer upon layer, its what I'm standing on ...
Hand over hand, I pull out the core
And the present weighs heavy on the time before,
turning all the wonders and moments into diamonds ...