Chivalry isn't dead ...

... its just kinda confused.

In my grandparent's day, when a couple were walking down the street, the man walked on the outside to keep the woman from getting splashed with mud from passing cars.  In later generations, the man walked on the outside to protect the woman from getting grabbed and pulled into a passing car.  Unless you are in an area where the woman might get grabbed by someone in an alley, in which case the man should walk onthe inside.  Except the "alley" neighbourhoods and the "grabbed into a car" neighbourhoods might be the same neighbourhoods.

Of course, in the middle east, the woman walks in front so she can clear the land mines ....

*sigh*

This was prompted by a male friend of mine asking me the other day, while we were walking in a city, "which side of you am I supposed to walk on"?  The look on his face would have been comical if he had not been so earnest.

From that thought, flows this:

I find it kinda sad that we live in a time where, if you are somewhere with a man you don't know well, he feels obliged to ask, cautiously, "Is it OK if I hold the door for you?"

I have never been described as a feminist.  Castrating bitch occasionally, and every now and again I get called a "Dyke", but never a feminist.  :-)

And I don't mind if a man holds the door for me.  I will, of course, hold a door for another human who is behind me, regardless of their gender.  I believe this is called "common courtesy".

I don't think women are inferior OR superior to men; but we are different.

As I have mentioned before, I hunt, I cut down trees, I trap shoot ... and I sew, and bake, and cook, and like to look and feel pretty.  I like it when my man "claims me" in little ways in public, makes sure the other males know I am taken, and he will look out for me; makes me feel safe, protected ... but not when he treats me like I am incapeable of looking after myself.  (Yes, I realize this makes things hard on a date).

I have friends who have chosen to stay out of the paid workforce while their children are young, and stay home and run the household and raise the kids.  I don't think this makes them weak, a chattel, or dis-empowers them.  You would only have to know most of these women for 5 minutes to agree with me!  I think that people who tell them they have "sacrificed" or given something up by making their choice are the ones seeking to take power away from them, their power to choose their own life path.

Seriously, when we as women can't even agree on what is "correct", can we blame the poor man who is so confused by what he is "supposed to do", that he is paralysed by his fear of doing the wrong thing, so does nothing at all?