What do I want in a partner?

Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. I need to be loved by someone who choses to love me, who sees in me someone worth loving
~ from The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman

I have a standard response when my friends ask me what I want in a man, and I have been told it is not definitive enough :

~ must produce adequate body heat to warm me up at night  (my bum is not only flat, it gets cold)
~ must like sex  (yes, I have discovered, much to my dismay, there are men who don't)
~ must not hit me, or point a gun at me (been there, done that, don't need the t-shirt)

That was the list.  But under gentle encouragement, I am expanding the list:

~ must be intelligent, and able to engage in stimulating conversation
~ must share the basics of my morals and ethics.  I respect differences, but the base needs to be common
~ must be able to tolerate my wide range of friends, without prejudice or malice based on anyone's colour, creed, race, religion, economic status, profession, or sexual orientation
~ must be able to accept that I am multi-dimensional.  I can happily spend all day out in the bush with a chain saw, or a gun; then come home and put together a roast beef dinner for 8 complete with pies and squares, doll myslef up, mend and iron your shirt, and play the dutiful woman for the evening.  I love the Suzy Home-maker role as much as I love a good hard day's work in the bush, an amazing night of dancing, a productive day of meetings, or a few rounds in the ring.  I need all the sides of my personality to make me who I am; if someone tries to pigeon hole me into one or the other, its not going to go well.
~ must be willing to "witness my life" - to notice the things going on in my life, and care about them.  In return, must be willing to let me share in the details of their life.
~ must have friends of their own.  I cannot be eveything to my man, nor do I expect him to be everything to me.  There are certain things that he better only be getting at home, but I understand and encourage "friend time", and expect him to understand mine.
~ needs to be secure in himself.  I work in a male dominated industry and have a lot of male friends.  I am as loyal as the day is long, and would not cheat on my partner; but, I am not giving up my male friends.  Nor would I expect him to give up any female friends.
~ needs to be able to "be the man" at times.  Sometimes I like the traditional roles.  Be assertive, be protective, be the man.
~ someone who is not afraid to disagree with me, tell me when they think I am wrong, and back it up.
~ somone who is loyal to me.  I have no patience for someone who is unfaithful sexually, but more than that someone who will verbally defend me to others; someone who will take my side and stand up for me; someone who has my back.  Someone that will be proud to let other know I am "his".
~ someone who respects my right to say no
~ someone who undertands by this point in the game we all have daemons to deal with; someone who accepts mine but doesn't let me use them as an "excuse", and someone who recognizes their own
~ someone who has a sense of humour, and can deal with mine, and that of my friends.  Sarcasm, occasionally, is OK; meanness is not.
~ someone who is capeable of kindness, and not embarrased by it in themselves.  (must like children and puppies ... LOL.)
~ someone who isn't afraid to be honest with themselves, or with me.  Even if it might cause some stress.  The only things I can't deal with are the things I don't know about.
~ someone who can argue respectfully, and not think a difference of opinion is the end of the relationship
~ someone who will pull their weight with household tasks
~ must understand that quality time can be a cup of coffee at the breakfast table together, or lying snuggled on the sofa watching a movie together.  It doesn't need to be some big production.  Its the day-to-day that's important; the day-to-day I miss when I miss someone.
~ must not re-arrange my spice rack, or my shower stuff.  Seriously. Most other things are negotiable.