Reintegration, step 1

I am back, after spending some time with Sebastian in his world.  The first visit went relatively well.  He is still a bit "there"; "Halfghanistan" to borrow a phrase from a dear friend.  But all in all, I think things went well. 

There were some good moments of sharing, of true connection, a lot of just hanging out an chilling, and we got a lot done.  He moved into a new apartment the day after he got home (as in, landed at 19:00, cleared in, 2 hour drive, humped his kit 50m in an un-plowed drive through 2-3' of snow to his old place ... and the delivery trucks started showing up the next morning, at the new place, with the new furniture that needed to be assembled.)  There was not as much phisycal affection as I would have liked, but I am fairly intuitive, and can read him fairly well, and he was just not there yet.  It was not a rebuff, just where his head is at.  And I am, honestly, OK with it.  We had some good talks, and some good, open, honest communication.  It was a great visit.


We hung pictures, arranged furniture, bought stuff he needed.  We bought curtains for most of the windows and hung them.  He is a bit uncomfortable, I think, with the blinds in the kitchen.  We settled on grass (bamboo) blinds, and he keeps walking into the kitchen in the evenings and saying "Well ... I guess I don't have to worry about anyone doing surveillance on me here."  (The blinds do allow a good silhouette).

We did the first trip to the grocery store (crowds and choices both being a challenge for recently returned soldiers, for the non-mil types reading).  We also did Wal-Mart, Home Depot, and a few other stores, which he handled pretty well, only retreating and letting me lead him a few times.  He caught himself saying what "we" needed for "our" place (even though we do not live together) and it made him smile ... which made me smile :-)

The only real challenge we had was when some buddies convinced us to go out to a club.  Reintegration + alcohol + flashing lights + crowds + loud noises almost ended really badly.  He did have a bit of a meltdown, needed to get out of the bar in a hurry and we went home, he opened up a lot on the ride home, but then when we were back in the "safety" of the apartment, just the two of us, all was well again, and by the time he had slept it off, he was OK.  (And realized it had likely been a bad idea).

I am home again now (well, at my parent's place, a post for another day).  He is mostly spending his time chilling, and playing Call Of Duty: Black Ops (Killing Zombies).  I talk to him a couple of times a day; not sure when I am going back up or he is coming down my way, but feeling pretty secure right now, pretty good.

Thanks for all the good wishes, my friends.  Namaste.