Wednesday last week I had to go to a pretty high level see and be seen event, a "social" event with some very high level decision makers, so among other thigns I went to the basement and pulled out the "good" purse (Nine West, for those of you who keep track of these things) instead of my Harley purse I have been using.  Thought it might be more appropriate.

The Nine West bag had been packed and stored since I moved last May; and being me, of course it was packed and stored with some stuff in it, and also being me I left it until the 11th hour to dig it out, so I just threw the other things I needed in it and headed off.  I did remember to stop before I actually entered the event venue and remove things like the Jack Knife(s) I always carry, and anything else that might make the security types antsy.  So I sorted through everything, I thought thouroughly.

I have just kept using it since Wednesday; 'tis the season for functions, so I thought it was just easier.  I have pawed through it repeatedly, looking for things, seeing what is still in there from before.

This morning, when I was getting ready to head to an appointment, I looked down, and staring up at me from my open purse was this little fella:

He was lying right on top where I couldn't miss him, even thoguth I had managed to not see him all the other times I have looked through that bag in the last 5 days.  I have no idea how he got on top, or how I have overlooked him, but he certainly did bring a smile to my face.

I originally found him on the beach in the summer of 2009, when things with the Wolf were starting to get rocky, although I was still in denial about it.  He brought me a smile then, and offered reassurance.  Over the time between, he has disappeared and reappeared with no predictability, although every time I find him again, he does bring a smile to my face.  I have taken him out of the purse and put him on my nightstand for a while.  Who knows where he will make his way to next.

Funny that my "soldier" has come back to me, as my soldier is coming back to me.

~~~~~~~~~

Back in October, when I realized that I had nothing left to say to the Wolf, nor anything left I needed to hear from him, I did delete him from MSN and FaceBook.  Last night he sent me a FaceBook friend request and a message saying I seemd to have disappeared from his friends list.

I replied

Ya, actually, I did "un-friend" you.
I realized a while ago I have nothing left to say to you, and nothing left I need to hear. I have moved past what happened between us, and this is part of that.
I wish you well. I truly do.
Take care of yourself.

He responded with a simple "Fair enough". It did hurt a little bit, severing that last tie, but I know in my heart it was the right thing to do for me. I also think it is an important step in reassuring Sebastian that I am committed to him, and more so to myself, and to being healthy. He was mentioning every once in a while that he noticed the Wolf was still commenting on things. I don't think it is jealousy on his part, but concern for me, and possibly a little insecurity. And I did not do this for Sebastian or anyone else (or I would have done it a lot longer ago); I did it for me, and because the time seemed right for me.