Cherry Blossoms

Sakura (Cherry Blossom)

We are solidly in the middle (I believe) of Cherry Blossom Season in Japan.  I have also been thinking lately about more tattoos, and an idea is taking place in my brain.

From Wikipedia:
In Japan cherry blossoms also symbolize clouds due to their nature of blooming en masse, besides being an enduring metaphor for the ephemeral nature of life, an aspect of Japanese cultural tradition that is often associated with Buddhistic influence, and which is embodied in the concept of mono no aware. The association of the cherry blossom with mono no aware dates back to 18th-century scholar Motoori Norinaga. The transience of the blossoms, the extreme beauty and quick death, has often been associated with mortality ... Cherry blossom is an omen of good fortune and is also an emblem of love, affection and represents spring. Cherry blossoms are an enduring metaphor for the fleeting nature of life, and as such are frequently depicted in art

From an e-zine regarding tattoo symbolism:

Chinese Cherry Blossom
For the Chinese the cherry blossom is a very significant symbol of power. Typically it represent a feminine beauty and sexuality and often holds an idea of power or feminine dominance. Within the language of herbs and herbal lore of the Chinese the cherry blossom is often the symbol of love.

Japanese Cherry Blossom
For the Japanese the cherry blossom holds very different meaning. The cherry blossom is a very delicate flower that blooms for a very short time. For the Japanese this represents the transience of life. This concept ties in very deeply with the fundamental teachings of Buddhism that state all life is suffering and transitory. The Japanese have long held strong to the Buddhist belief of the transitory nature of life and it is very noble to not get too attached to a particular outcome or not become emotional because it will all pass in time.

The fallen cherry blossom is not taken lightly in Japanese symbolism either. It often represents the beauty of snow and there are many connections made in Japanese literature or poetry to a fallen cherry blossom and snow. This also has been extended to the life of a warrior whose life was ended early in battle.

Memento Mori

Wednesday last week I had to go to a pretty high level see and be seen event, a "social" event with some very high level decision makers, so among other thigns I went to the basement and pulled out the "good" purse (Nine West, for those of you who keep track of these things) instead of my Harley purse I have been using.  Thought it might be more appropriate.

The Nine West bag had been packed and stored since I moved last May; and being me, of course it was packed and stored with some stuff in it, and also being me I left it until the 11th hour to dig it out, so I just threw the other things I needed in it and headed off.  I did remember to stop before I actually entered the event venue and remove things like the Jack Knife(s) I always carry, and anything else that might make the security types antsy.  So I sorted through everything, I thought thouroughly.

I have just kept using it since Wednesday; 'tis the season for functions, so I thought it was just easier.  I have pawed through it repeatedly, looking for things, seeing what is still in there from before.

This morning, when I was getting ready to head to an appointment, I looked down, and staring up at me from my open purse was this little fella:

He was lying right on top where I couldn't miss him, even thoguth I had managed to not see him all the other times I have looked through that bag in the last 5 days.  I have no idea how he got on top, or how I have overlooked him, but he certainly did bring a smile to my face.

I originally found him on the beach in the summer of 2009, when things with the Wolf were starting to get rocky, although I was still in denial about it.  He brought me a smile then, and offered reassurance.  Over the time between, he has disappeared and reappeared with no predictability, although every time I find him again, he does bring a smile to my face.  I have taken him out of the purse and put him on my nightstand for a while.  Who knows where he will make his way to next.

Funny that my "soldier" has come back to me, as my soldier is coming back to me.

~~~~~~~~~

Back in October, when I realized that I had nothing left to say to the Wolf, nor anything left I needed to hear from him, I did delete him from MSN and FaceBook.  Last night he sent me a FaceBook friend request and a message saying I seemd to have disappeared from his friends list.

I replied

Ya, actually, I did "un-friend" you.
I realized a while ago I have nothing left to say to you, and nothing left I need to hear. I have moved past what happened between us, and this is part of that.
I wish you well. I truly do.
Take care of yourself.

He responded with a simple "Fair enough". It did hurt a little bit, severing that last tie, but I know in my heart it was the right thing to do for me. I also think it is an important step in reassuring Sebastian that I am committed to him, and more so to myself, and to being healthy. He was mentioning every once in a while that he noticed the Wolf was still commenting on things. I don't think it is jealousy on his part, but concern for me, and possibly a little insecurity. And I did not do this for Sebastian or anyone else (or I would have done it a lot longer ago); I did it for me, and because the time seemed right for me.

Memorial Day

Thank you to all our American Friends as they honour their veterans and fallen, and their families, on Memorial Day.

Tap & Drink.

Dragon Dreams

I have long had a problem with insomnia, so I have a selection of meditation CDs that I use to fall asleep at night.  Often when I am in the half awake ~ half asleep state I have lucid dreams which help me process the days events or give me guidance.  Sometimes I even hear very specific messages, which have so far turned out to be accurate.

When I was a child, these things scared me, (I had accurately predicted the deaths of some people I loved, and some pets) and I blocked them out, but I am now more mature, and I am inviting them back into my life.  I have also learned the "feel" of the lucid dreams/messages vs. the random wanderings of my subconscious and my imagination.

Often the lucid dreams are very clear and blunt; either spoken sentences, dates, etc., or at least messages of reassurance.  While meditating a few weeks ago on the situation with Sebastian, what to do, etc., I got the very clear message "We're gonna be OK".

Sometimes, though, the lucid dreams are just plain weird.

Last night I dreamed of white dragons.  White dragons made of paper, long serpentine Chinese style dragons, and they were mouthing at my forearms.  Not biting, really, just mouthing at me, like a black lab that wants to play will put its mouth around you and "chew" a bit.  A soft bite dragon??

It had the feel of a lucid dream, but certainly wasn't as clear or as blunt as I have gotten used to lately.  I have tried looking up white dragons, and learned that to the Chinese the symbolize the west and death (we're gonna ignore that one), but most sites are a variation of this theme:

To dream of a dragon, denotes that you allow yourself to be governed by your passions, and that you are likely to place yourself in the power of your enemies through those outbursts of sardonic tendencies. You should be warned by this dream to cultivate self-control.

from http://www.paranormality.com/dream_dictionary_d.shtml

I am not sure what message I am to take from this.  This interpretation isn't ringing very true for me, not speaking to me the way things often do when I look them up.

Maybe it was just a dream.

Maybe it was the Moroccan Stew, and the entirely too much coffee with Kahlua and Coconut Rum.

Swastikas

I have had a "thing" lately with Ganesha, a god in the Hindu pantheon related to obstacles, both placing them and removing them.  I did a Google image search for an nice image, and found this one, which I quite like.  It gives the appearance of being created from banana plant leaves, which resonates with my personality quite well.

Upon closer inspection, however, you will note that the symbol on the left is a swastika.  I am not sure how I feel about that.


I know that the swastika was originally a symbol of good, until it was adopted by the National Socialist Party of Germany in 1920, and the symbol came to mean something entirely different.

"The word "swastika" comes from the Sanskrit svastika - "su" meaning "good," "asti" meaning "to be," and "ka" as a suffix.

Until the Nazis used this symbol, the swastika was used by many cultures throughout the past 3,000 years to represent life, sun, power, strength, and good luck." from About.com

 So I have been debating the symbol, and symbols in general.


In one way the image bothers me, because of the "modern" meaning of the swastika.  At the visceral level, I see the symbol and react tot he Nazi connotations, and it bothers me.  On the other hand, I appreciate the original meaning, and I can understand refusing to give in to the people that tried to take it from the original culture.  I respect the creator of the picture for refusing to let the spirit of the symbol be tarnished.