First off, I know most coloured ribbons have multiple meanings; but I learned today that the awareness ribbon for PTSD is generally considered to be teal. So my blog is now sporting a teal ribbon, in honour of all those who still carry their battles with them, and the people who love them.
I had a 2 hour MSN conversation and a few on-line scrabble games with the Wolf tonight, and it was so normal it felt surreal. And now I am asking myself a million questions - did the last few months really happen? Did I imagine it all, and over-react? Why can't I just be happy, why am I second guessing this? Did he find out I made the call, and now he is trying to win me over to convince me to recant? Is he "better"? Did he "come to his senses" finally?
I feel like such a bitch that I can't just take this at face value and be happy about it.
He says he is just winding down right now, spending his last few days getting organized before he heads over to the base he will deploy from. He was going out to dinner tonight with some friends who wanted to see him one last time before he goes. (really trying not te be petty about that, since I didn't get my "one last time before you go" visit)
We shot the shit. We joked. We laughed. We talked about nothing, about the weather, about another on-line game we both play, about people and places and stuff. Plain old every day stuff.
I miss normal. I miss every day stuff.
I miss my Wolf.
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