Men in Uniform ...

Two volunteer fire fighters lost their lives in battle today in a community near where I grew up.

I am the daughter of a man that started as a prison guard and became a police officer; he also served as a volunteer fire fighter.  I am the ex of an Airman, the current of a Combat Soldier, and the friend to many in all uniforms.

My heart goes out to the families of these fallen, but also to all the wives and other loved ones who are comforted, yet still feeling guilty that they get to hold their fire fighter in their arms tonight, safe and sound. My heart goes out to those same people, who will wait with the heart a little higher in their throats the next few times the call goes out, until their loved one comes once more safe through the door.

Blessed be

Stuff

I was over reading THIS POST at A Little Pink In A World Of Camo.  Where she talks (a fair bit into the post) about loosing a ring that was a connection to her late husband, and:

"I freak out because I put so much emphasis on stuff. All this stuff is really all I've got - or at least I feel that way - of what we had together. I keep thinking if I lose/break/get rid of any of this stuff or change anything, what we had and the time we spent together will disappear too."

If you don't follow the blog - she does find the ring.  The ring that is a very important symbol for her of her relationship with her angel, her deceased husband, who was killed in action while serving in Afghanistan for the US Military.

I don't in any way mean to detract from her feelings, from her raw emotion.  I have NO IDEA what it would be like to be in her shoes, and I pray to all the powers that be I never do.

All that said, her post really got me thinking about "stuff".  I do not have a lot of "stuff" as mementos of Sebastian.  I know this is totally not the same as her situation ~ I still have him ~ but still, it got me thinking.

I do have a few little things (and am getting a few more soon, I have been told!) but  I can honestly say that this time around most of what I hold, I hold in my heart.  Oh, don't get me wrong, the day I caught the dog with my Soldier Teddy Bear in her mouth, I was really unhappy.  I am just saying, for me, right now,I don't have a big attachment to "stuff", to talismans ... which is unusual for me.

With the Wolf I, more so towards the end, I was clutching at everything.  Maybe because I knew he was moving away from me, I held onto the stuff, maybe that is the same thing that Mrs P is feeling.  In her situation ... I can't see myself as being as strong as she has been through all of this, really, and I would likely be as attached to every little thing as well.

For me, for now, for my current reality, my gut tells me this is a sign that I am more secure, that I don't need the talismans.  Or maybe I am finally conquering my inner pack rat.

Who knows.