more "Emotional" thoughts

So as predicted, Sebastian, being the type of dude that he is, got my "you know I am here for you and I support you" e-mail and responded with an "OK ... yes, thank you, I am secure in that ... what's happened to trigger this?" type e-mail.  He said he was secure in my support of him, and asked if there was maybe someone else I felt the need to send that message to, someone who I felt doubted my support. (yep, he knows I am at my parents house this weekend)

I gave him the briefest gloss of background on the other situation, told him my response there, and then my longer brain-puke here, and the comments I got (both the initial one from anonymous and the following messages of support).  I indicated that I was compensating for someone else, feeling bad for a soldier whose name I didn't even know... and in reality, was likely trying to send a message to that soldier, and using Sebastian as a surrogate.

He responded that however noble it was, I shouldn't feel personally responsible for the happiness and mental security of every deployed military member (Whhaaaaat??  I can't save the world single handedly?  Come on!)

He reassured me that he knew how dedicated I was, not just to him, but the the forces at large, past and present, and that my marital status did not reflect my degree of dedication or involvement, nor did any label on my relationship with him.  He knew that my history with the Wolf, and the degree of background and knowledge on things CF related, did indeed give me a certain perspective ... although really, everyone is entitled to their feelings and emotions.

And that "touchy MilWives going through thier own shit and lashing out at me" would do so regardless of my martial status.  He has very direct first hand knowledge of whether a ring or a wedding certificate are indications of levels of support.

He knows my reality.  He knows my background.  He knows what I do, my volunteer work, etc.  And he supports me as much as I support him.

So Anonymous, if you are still reading, I thank you for asking me to examine my thoughts and feelings, and for giving me the opportunity to have an open, honest, frank discussion with Sebastian about some things.  All in all, I have to say it has ended up as a positive experience.

To everyone who supported me here and elsewhere, thank you for your support.

And for those of you who are not privy to the other board, I am also very please to relay that the woman who was in distress has had some time to process her feelings, and is working through things WITH her husband.  Which in my book, is a very good thing, and I wish them all the best.  Truly.