The Wolf is on HTLA (R&R Leave) and has gone somewhere we had talked about and planned on going together. Somewhere he had been before, knew I would love, and was very excited about sharing with me.
He is there without me. I am still here in Canada.
While that does hurt, sometimes more than others, I am still glad he has gone. A number of friends have indicated that really, they almost wish they had not seen their loved one on leave; that they weren't "all the way" there, and that the second good bye was as hard, if not harder than, the first.
Now a lot of guys, especially someone who is still an infanteer in his heart, would spend their leave, if without their partner, drinking and carousing. While I am under no delusions that there will be some of that, it is not his main focus.
The wolf has gone to spend his leave with the father of a friend, a 7th Dan in the martial art he trains; and to visit temples and meditate. I know from previous experience that he won't be sharing those stories with the folks in his unit; some of them might understand, but most would harass him.
I truly hope that his time there brings him some peace. He has still been fighting the survivor guilt demons, harder lately with the deaths of some people he knew. He feels he is not doing his share, safe behind the wire while his friends and "family" are giving their lives.
I hope he finds his center again, his place of peace. I can't even begin to imagine what he is going through. I know this can give him a different kind of peace than I would ever be able to offer.
I hope the universe sends him love and peace, and that he is open enough to receive it. I hope he finds in his friend's father someone he can be open and honest with; a mentor in more than just the martial arts. I truly hope he enjoys his leave, and it is good for him.
He has promised to relay the stories to me, and I know he will be honest with me. As much as it hurts to be "left behind", I really do wish him nothing but the best in this.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
3 comments:
I can see from StatCounter that some of you are trying to comment, but those comments are not making it through. I was unable to comment on Blogs while using Internet Explorer; I had to switch to Google Chrome.
I love hearing your thoughts, and do publish everything that isn't spam.
If you are having trouble, you can also e-mail me: wolfandcrowblog (at) yahoo (dot) ca
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
A very private, intense, emotional and inspirational post...thank you for sharing it. I know from dealing w/my own demons how important it is to find one's "center" in this sometimes big 'ole mean world we live in, as you so eloquently put it that "place of peace". It can be an elusive little bugger, no doubt. May you both find it (or it finds you) quickly...T
ReplyDeleteI believe he is thinking of you in not having you meet him. His quest for what ever peace he can find would be hindered if he felt he had to devote time to you. That is not a bad thing. Hopefully it will make your next meeting even better if he has a head start on dealing with his demons. It’s good that you can and will be there for support, listening and understanding, but he has to walk the road alone for awhile. He is a lucky man to have you…and he knows it, too.
ReplyDeleteI hope he finds his inner peace. (((hugs)))
ReplyDelete