Relationships

Soundtrack for this post: Holding Out For A Hero, Jennifer Saunders, Shrek II Soundtrack

True love is what comes to you when you stop believing in happily ever after, and knights in shining armour.

I don't remember where I read this, but I think it is very, very true.

I think a lot of relationships would be happier if we realized much younger that happy ever after is a "big picture" view, not a moment-by moment guarantee. The world does not owe us eternal sunshine, nor would that be good for our characters.

In my humble view, and from the viewpoint of experience, what makes a good relationship? (In no particular order)

1. Reciprocity. Now, by reciprocity, I certainly don't mean keeping score and making sure every little thing comes out even. But there does need to be some give and take. Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses, and everyone will find their own balance. Hopefully you and your partner balance each other, and can find a compromise on things.
   
2. Respect.  You have to know that your partner respects you, as a person, and the choices you make with your life, and you have to let them know that you respect them.  Do not assume the other person knows this.  Men, specifically, often need reassurance that we respect them.
   
3. Communication.  Your partner can't read your mind any more that you can read theirs.  Don't expect them to know what you want, how you feel, or why you are upset.
   
4. Honesty. 
   
5. Love. And no, I don't think I can define it in words. I also don't think what love is to me is the same as what love is to anyone else. Not even the Wolf. I think we all have our own definition of Love, and if our version is being met, then that is for us to determine, not any outside forces. Nor is it for me to tell you what love means to you.
   
6. Presence. Not physical presence, but mental presence. When you are with someone, be WITH them, 100%. When the Wolf and I are apart, it is important to me to know that I occur to him occasionally. And I let him know I think of him.
7. Laughter.  Fun. Enjoyment.  These are the things that help build your foundation, and balance the not-so-good days
8. Commitment.  Even if you haven't said "for better or worse" in front of an officiant, you need to know what "worse" is, and commit to staying until that point. (This is in no way meant to condone staying in an abusive or otherwise unhealthy relationship.  There is a difference between "worse" and "unacceptable".)

Feel free to add your own.