I miss him tonight, more that usual.
I have no doubt in my mind that his re-interation is made somewhat easier by being able to do it at his own pace, being able to hole up in his apartment for the day if that is what he needs to do. He has been mostly spending his days playing First Person Shooter games on X-box, etc. I don't know if this is entirely healthy or not, but it is a lot healthier than the Wolf's approach - crawling into a bottle of Forty Creek Whiskey for 6 weeks, and only crawling out when he had to go back to work.
S and I chat a lot, via text and MSN, some video calls. The last couple of nights we have talked for hours. And I will see him again in about 3 weeks.
But I want to be there now. I want to see him, to touch him, to look into his eyes and know he is really OK. I think part of him wants me there too, although he is sending mixed messages. I don't know how much of that is him not wanting to seem needy, and how much of it is still having everything compartmentalized. Tempered by the fact that I think he is much more accepting of the reality of the situation than I am; he accept what is, and while I do ... I also wish.
I have said before, and I will say again, it seems harder to have him in country but 8 hours away, than it was to have him in the sandbox where going to him was not an option at all.
One of the other blogs I read, another Milspouse, her hubs came home within days of Sebastian's return. I think she would gladly trade places with my right now, their reintegration has not been a picnic. I understand that there are real challenges, and I am not under any delusion that if we were together geographically, it would be all fun and games.
I am needy tonight. And there is really nothing to be done about it. That's just the reality I have to live in right now.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
2 comments:
I can see from StatCounter that some of you are trying to comment, but those comments are not making it through. I was unable to comment on Blogs while using Internet Explorer; I had to switch to Google Chrome.
I love hearing your thoughts, and do publish everything that isn't spam.
If you are having trouble, you can also e-mail me: wolfandcrowblog (at) yahoo (dot) ca
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Having patience in these "healing" type situations can be tough because our natural instinct I believe is to want to immediately "go there" and help. The reality may be much different and you are doing the right thing, initially it's most healthy (IMO) if he chooses the pace. Down the road it may change but for now, newly back home.
ReplyDeleteI understand totally when you describe the differences between: being apart and visits are impossible vs being apart and visits are NOT an option. Again it comes down to patience...i can't imagine that I would do as well as you are doing right now....
I say go see him...call first. Having his time to adjust is good and needed, but he needs to know you can walk through the door, too. Too much time away can also hurt the relationship. IMHO
ReplyDelete