Hero worship isn't fair; it isn't fair to the person you are "worshipping"
I am reading an article in the November 2010 Oprah magazine about a female American soldier who served, and was injured, in Iraq. Near the beginning of the article, she talks about being haunted by the words of a "friend" who said to her "You used to be my hero".
Hero worship isn't fair to the target. Hero worship places unattainable, unachievable pressure on the "hero", things to live up to that no one possibly can. If you truly care about the individual, expecting them to be perfect is just plain rude.
True heroes are not perfect people; they are ordinary people who chose to rise above their fears and challenges and perform heroic acts. But to worship these people puts them on a level above us ordinary mortals, and carrys with it an expectation.
I would not want anyone I love to have the pressure of being expected to be perfect. I recognize the faults in the people I love; I choose to accept them anyway. Or maybe I choose my loved ones based on the faults I can live with. Either way, I am not going to expect them to live up to impossibly high standards.
I love my friends. I have a great deal of respect for them. But I do not worship any of them.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
3 comments:
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It's funny (or maybe not so)... I have a friend who lost a spouse... and come to think of it, if I'm correct on your location, you may know her.
ReplyDeleteBefore I knew her, I fixated on her circumstance - she'd lost a spouse to this lifestyle that I was just embarking on (committing to).
Then I got to know her, and she was even more amazing than the local legend could have prepared me for.
I agree hero worship isn't fair. :)
To me there are two kinds of heroes. One is a Hero and the other is a hero. The Hero’s are the ones who go above and beyond to do the job and maybe save lives. Some of the miltypes, policemen and firemen come to mind. The hero’s are the ones who do the hard stuff for us and our safety. The ones who put up with the annoying day to day bullshit the military pushes on them. The ones who go outside the wire everyday, do the job and come back. The ones who polish the shoes and boots and dawn the uniforms of public servants and soldiers/sailor/airmen. There are better paying, safer jobs, but they have chosen the hard job. They are my hero’s. Some of the hero’s are truly assholes. Some have habits that will drive one crazy. Some are goofie, some are brilliant. Some you would love the beat the shit out of. But they are still there serving for us. I put no expectations on them. There moniker comes with the job. Even the Hero’s and hero’s who acted as the should have when it was the most dangerous. But they still take a shit just like the rest of us. I just respect both types for doing what I am not able to do now days.
ReplyDeleteNot even me?! I've been living a lie this whole time thinking I was perfect, too...
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