Different isn't bad

I used to have a lovely poem about differences or diversity, and how just because my life, my choices, might be different that yours, that does not make them "bad".

With Sebastian back in country, I have been spending a lot more time interacting with him, and am going back to see him again soon. This has affected many things, including that I have really scaled back my hours at my second job, the bar tending job. I have been fairly quiet to people I interact with about this relationship, waiting to see where it goes, but with the travelling, etc., I am coming a bit more forward with it.

Which leads to a question I get a lot, and got again yesterday:

"Why in God's name would you ever get involved with another soldier??? Didn't you learn your lesson last time?? Why would you do that to yourself??"

To be fair, Sebastian himself asked me that same question, very early on. What I told him is the same answer I give to others, to varying degrees. I am not in love with a job, a career, or a uniform. He is a good man, he is good to me, and in return for that I am willing to accept some of the more challenging parts. All realationships have challenges, and it is up to the people in them to decide if the good makes the not so good worth it, and if they can, together, overcome those challenges.

I don't love a soldier. I love a man who happens to be a soldier.

Someone who has never been in a committed distance relationship cannot understand how "together" you can be when you are not together. S and I watched TV together last night - via text message (good thing we both have plans!). He told me what he was watching, I tuned to the same channel, and we chatted, about life and about the show, while we both watched, from our respective homes.

When one of us needs contact, we have a number of different video options available to us. We can see each other, hear voice, get smiles; everything but actually touch. My friends who get to sleep in the same home as their loved ones every night don't "get" how you can build or sustain a relationship based on that, and I sometimes sense judgement in their words.

My feelings are no less real just because you can't imagine yourself in my shoes. The relationship is no less real because it does not fit your convention of how things should work.