Creeped ...

I think the Wolf is trying to find me.

I have moved since we were last in contact, although my phone (mobile only) and personal e-mail have remained the same.

Let me back up a bit.

I have not really heard from the Wolf since a couple of random MSN conversations in July, while he was still in the Sandbox.  After he came back to Canada, he left a couple of snarky, likely drunken comments on my Facebook page; I blocked his access and ability to post (but did not delete him then).  I briefly un-blocked him on MSN around October, but realized quickly I didn't want to hear anything he had to say, so deleted him from MSN and Facebook.  A few weeks later he contacted me about the un-friending, I explained my reasons, and I thought that was that.

Yesterday I got a forwarded e-mail joke from him, and today another one.  I thought it was maybe just a brain fart on his part, he clicked my name along with a bunch of others.

Tonight after work I stopped in the post office of the small town I live in, and the manager said to me someone had called looking for me the other day, but the guy's story didn't ring quite true; he claimed to be a business associate but had my old home address, for example.  I admit the Wolf didn't spring to mind until the postie said "Oh ya, and he said he was calling he was from ______, which I thought was really weird ... and from the fact you just went white, I guess me not giving him information was the right thing to do?"  I assured him it was, and left.

I have also left a note at the place where I bar tend to remind everyone there to NOT give out any of my personal information if anyone comes looking for me.  I understand small town friendly helpful; its just in this case it might not be so helpful.

The logical part of my brain keeps telling me I am over reacting.  I really hope that part of my brain is right.  But my gut is in knots, and keeps remembering something the Wolf said to me our last night in each other's presence, which was a bad night on so many levels.  He said that I did not have the right to tell him what he could or could not do to me ... except he said it much meaner than that.

And the fact that he always told me, meaning it as an inside joke (I think) that if he ever felt the need to kill me, he would't scare me first, that I would never see the gun, or see the bullet coming.

I am going to talk to a fellow I know who is a local police officer tomorrow, to tell him everything, and ask his advice, off the record.  I want the local police to know that if I have to call them to take it seriously, and what they are dealing with - a former recce platoon sniper with many years of experience, and an avid big game hunter - but I do not want to escalate the situation.

(aside: for anyone interested in the psychology of stalkers and their kin, I highly recommend Gavin de Becker's book "The Gift Of Fear")

I have not talked to Sebastian about this, and I am leaning right now towards not telling him until I am in his presence in a couple of weeks; I don't think he really needs to be worrying about this right now while he is trying to re-adjust.  As much as my first reaction was to call him and ask him to tell me I was over-reacting, ask him to help me settle down, I also don't want to gear him up for something that might be nothing, and something he really can't do much about anyway.

I am going to try to give it a few days, see if there are any other contact attempts ... and let my brain process it a bit more.

I really hope I just have an over active imagination.