Closing a chapter?

It was a fairly busy, momentous, and emotional holiday season, more details of which will come out in the next few weeks.


I think, however, that I can finally start relaxing a bit on my concern with the Wolf.  I have always said that if we made it through the Christmas season without an incident, that I would believe that he had gotten the message and was going to leave me alone.  It seems like we have.


I did some thinking over the holidays about my feelings towards him.


I don't hate him, and I don't wish him ill.  I am afraid of him, or at least I am afraid of who he is when he drinks, which is, or at least was, a lot of the time.  I do not trust him.  I do not, at the moment, respect him.  I still wish he would get help, and get better.


Red, to my knowledge, did not end up meeting the Wolf while he was home on leave.  We discussed it, and I did not want her making her decision based on what she thought I wanted or didn't want, and she assured me it wasn't that.  She just didn't want to make time for him.  


I have no idea how i would react if he suddenly appeared in front of me.  I guess it would depend on how he was acting.  I am, however, supremely grateful that I did not have to find out.


While I will always be more vigilant, more aware of my surroundings, and likely more suspicious than most of my peers, I believe I can start to de-escalate a bit, to relax a bit.  It will be a process, I am sure, but i think it is time to start letting go of that particular worry.


Each year brings new growth and clarity; hopefully 2012 will be one of peace.


Blessings, my friends.