The Wolf

Soundtrack for this post: When You Say Nothin' At All, Allison Krauss and Union Station

I am in a happy place today, and had a good MSN conversation with the Wolf last night, so today is a nice, safe day to write an expanded introduction to the man in my life.

The Wolf and I met in High school. We grew up in small towns that are about 10 km from each other, but went to different elementary schools. In high school a friend of mine had a crush on this guy who trained martial arts. She really wanted to try the 2 week introductory class the club offered, but was too nervous to go herself. So she talked me, her faithful friend, into going with her. (Aside: this turned into a life-long love affair with martial arts for me)

The guy she was crushing on? Yep, the Wolf.

Fast forward a couple of months. She and I are still training Karate, and really enjoying it for its own sake. She is also still crushing on the Wolf. In the mean time, there is a guy crushing on her, and she is kinda leading him on, likely out of teenage "I don't want to hurt your feelings" uncomfortableness. (Anybody missing high school yet?) This other guy happens to be the Wolf's cousin. Gotta love small towns.

Other guy asks my friend out to the movies. She says yes, but only if I come too. She doesn't want to go out alone with him. He says OK, and invites his cousin - the Wolf - along to keep me entertained so he can pay attention to my friend.

So in essence, my first date with the Wolf was a pity date on his part, trying to help out his cousin, a bit uncomfortable for me, as I was the "date" of the guy my friend was wanting to hook up with, and generally very teenage awkward.

But I really liked the guy. We became very good friends. And now, after 20 years or so, we are much, much more than very good friends.

Back to high school, briefly: the Wolf and my friend did end up getting together (I was dating someone else by then) and dated for a number of years. She was, unfortunately, uncomfortable with the friendship between the Wolf and I, and her and I drifted apart.

Straight out of high school, the Wolf joined the Canadian Forces, as an infantry man at the beginning of his career. Somewhere in there, after high school, the Wolf and my friend went their separate ways. He and I remained friends, and stayed in contact as he adventured around the country, and the world.

He has seen active duty in some unpleasant places, and has some issues. But seriously, at our age, who doesn't have some baggage?

In the late 90's he briefly left the Forces and spent a couple of years as a civilian, but was not happy, so in 2000 re-joined the military, this time as Air Command. He is currently serving as a mechanic.

He is prone to "fogetting" he is in a different time zone, and calling me at odd hours of the morning. This is something he has done throughout our friendship. He pretends to forget the time change, and I pretend to by annoyed with him for waking me up. It does give me a warm fuzzy, however, to know he is thinking of me.

About 14 years ago, he asked me to marry him. We were not dating at the time. I said no.

A few years after that, he was with a woman who again was insecure with his friendship with me (anyone else see a pattern?). Out of respect for that relationship, I stepped back out of his life for a while. I often wanted to contact him, but fought the urge.

I spent November 11, 2007, standing at my community cenotaph with tears coursing down my face, wondering where he was, if he was happy, if he was safe, and if I would ever see him again.

We reconnected in 2008, and instantly knew that the relationship had evolved to a new level. We are both different people that we were last time we were together. I like to think we are both now secure enough in ourselves to realize what it will take to make us happy, and strong enough to accept it into our lives.

He says that he has know since we were 16 that we were supposed to be together, and I am just a slow learner.

He is incredibly blunt some times, but is also amazingly honest about his feelings. He is generally very attentive, when he is not getting ready for deployment. He can be annoying and stubborn. He is seriously fun to go to a shooting range with. He still actively trains martial arts himself.

He is the man I have every intention of spending the rest of my life with. "With" in the emotional devoted sense, if not in geographic reality.

So, that is a little bit about the man I love, my Wolf, my Alpha.

(For more information on the Alpha/Omega mythos with werewolves, which is what I am usually alluding to, read the Mercy Thompson series by Patricia Briggs)