real marriage

I guess this is kind of a continuation of yesterday's post, and kind of not.
I had the privilege to attend an impromptu wedding on Saturday night.  I was working at a fundraiser for Children's Make A Wish Foundation, and two of the guests decided to affirm their love and commitment to each other in front of the assembled guests.

It was actually a beautiful little ceremony, the words of the officiant were from the heart (she was a friend of the couple who knows them well) and well suited to the couple.  They do seem to honestly care for each other; they have a child together, and she has a child from a previous relationship which he treats as his own.

A number of people have asked me today if it was a "real" marriage, caught up in details like the lack of a marriage license, the authority of the officiant (she is ordained ... in the state of California.  We are not in California), and the capacity of the individuals to enter into a contract (at least one of them was drunk by the time of the ceremony).

My response has been "What is a 'real' marriage?  They love each other; they seem committed to each other, and they are raising a family together.  They swore their commitment to each other in front of a crowd of friends and witnesses, with the brides father present, and in the eyes of the God they believe in.  So they didn't have a paper giving it legal sanction in the eyes of the province - does that make a marriage less real?"

Most people look at me like I am crazy after that response.

I know a number of people - my parents, Sebastian and his ex, to name a couple - who have a piece of paper from the government, and another from the Church, saying they are married - but you would never know it the way they treat each other.  If real marriage is based on a couple of pieces of paper, you can keep the darn thing, and I'll take what my friends have, thanks.