HTLA is over, and my boy is heading back to the sand. (Edit add: when I say my boy, I mean Sebastian, the man I am dating, not my son. I am sorry for any confusion this caused.)
I am trying to focus on the fact that this round will soon be really over, and he will be home for a while. I am trying to be positive, and happy, and look forward to the next reunion, but the fact is he is going back there, and it breaks my heart.
All the videos and commercials for Veteran's Week are hittng hard; I am spending a lot of time with kleenex in hand this week. I will be laying a wreath for the Rememberance Day Service on Thursday, I am hoping I can do it without completely falling apart.
I will probably get one more video call with Sebastian before he leaves Canadian soil. I hope that I can hold it together until he signs off, the same as I did when he went at the beginning of all this. Then have my tears in private, with him none the wiser. Oh, I know he likely suspects, but if he doesn't have to face the reality of it, it is easier on us both.
Before he went away at the beginning of this deployment, we had a good talk about tears, and fears, and emotions. I explained to him why his sister and I cry when we say goodbye, and challenged him on his own feelings about those tears. He was suprised by what I said, and he did spend some time thinking about it.
Soon, soon, soon, this will all be a memory, and I will have him back under the same stars. Soon.
Monday, November 8, 2010
6 comments:
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Thinking of you and wishing you strength.
ReplyDeleteHell, you and sista are women...that's what you do. I would be surprised if you didn't cry. It is hard to see, but, deep down, we dudes like it because there is actually someone out there who cares what happens to us. So your tears are a good thing.
ReplyDeleteIf he needs any good stuff from an old sailor, email me his address and I’ll get him on my milsupport list and send him goodies and needs and stuff. I don’t think they need hand warmers now, but they may need some foot power and stuff.
wow, coffeypot got this one just right. I do not know how many times I have admitted that my wife suffered more than I did.
ReplyDeleteyou need to stop by my post.
ReplyDeleteSarge Charlie sent me over to give you a great big hug. I cannot imagine what you are going through since I've not had to endure this. May God keep him safe and bring him back home to his loving family soon.
ReplyDeleteA great BIG HUG coming from California to you. :)
Sarge Charlie sent me over, too. ((big hugs))
ReplyDelete