Dreams ...

I had a dream last night.


I was in a rather rural and shabby looking hospital, it looked like it had been converted from an elementary school. I have no idea why I was there, but I was in the hall, and I noticed someone stealing an infant - it was winter, and cold, and snowing, and this dark haired person just walked right out of the hospital with a naked infant in their arms, and no one stopped them. I tried to report it to the authorities, but no one would believe me. Until the next morning, when people noticed that a baby was gone.  Then the people I tried to report it to got mad at me, and tried to shut me up.

I woke up this morning and kinda laughed it off as just a weird dream, told Sebastian about it ... and then realized something that I had been trying to bury for the last few days.  I obviously didn't bury it very well.

Last year's post: I Will Always Love You

(And for anyone who wants the longer version, check out She Part 1 and She Part 2 ... which reminds me I never wrote Part 3 ...)

It is the third anniversary of two wonderful little boys coming into my life; two wonderful little boys that I would only get to know for a short time before they moved on again.

It is getting easier to think of them, to remember them, but the hurt is still there, and very deep.

Boys, wherever you are, I hope life has been gentle with you, and you are blossoming into the wonderful people that I know you can be.  You are 6 and 7 now; I wish I could see you and know you, sing you to sleep again.  I still miss you, and I will always love you ...

When the boys first came to us, I knew a couple of Russian lullabies, and obviously some in English, but "Stairway to Heaven" was the one guaranteed way to get the little one, my little monkey man, to fall asleep in my arms.