There is a LOT of shit going on in my life/world/brain right now (more later), so I have been mulling my response, and whether I post it publicly on her page, or send it to her in a private message. It is still in draft form, and feels like it needs an ending, but here it is so far ... comments/arguments/suggestions welcome, as always.
I debated posting anything about 9/11. I didn't want to offend anyone, trigger anyone, or indulge in war porn.
But the day had a big impact on me, and on people I love. I love a Canadian soldier. Honestly, I love a few soldiers, and their families; but there is one soldier in particular who holds a large chunk of my heart, then and now, even though we are no longer together. On that day, anyone who had a connection to the military on either side of the border spent that day not only in horror for what had happened, but also with very real worries about what sort of impact it would have on their very own futures, both immediate and long term. Many spent part of that day wondering where their loved one was, and how long it would be before they would be able to even hear a reassuring word, because bases and communications in Canada got locked down as well; never mind those with loved ones deployed at the time*. It set in motion a chain of events that would forever change the lives of so many. Most of my friends are not only remembering/commemorating the lives lost that day, but the many lives lost and changed since.
I avoided television and print media yesterday, because I did not want to see the war porn/terror porn that the media was bound to engage in. I purposefully chose to fill yesterday with work that would keep me away from the computer, and surrounded by people who would not trigger memories for me.
I did post a few things on my FaceBook page, because it was what I needed to do, to acknowledge the memorial. Just as I will post again during Veteran's Week, on Peacekeeper's Day, and on other days that are significant to me.
*Sebastian was deployed at the time to a country not overly friendly to Canadians, and he has told me stories of what it was like to be there, inside a very small compound, working to upgrade and reinforce the barricades while the locals drove by waving guns and hurling taunts; getting limited updates about what was happening in North America; and tensions hair trigger.
I don't think it really matters what anyone else thinks or believes. It is your life and feelings and that is all you need to know. Publish what you want and if it upsets someone, it's their problem. At least you were true to yourself.
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