So I have it from a few reliable sources that the Wolf is currently out of the country on business.
I had mixed feelings about it when I initially learned that little bit of intel. I would have expected to feel immense relief - but it was kind of bitter sweet. This is the first time I *know* he has been away since that awful September of 2009... and there was no good bye.
I still don't understand why that makes me feel kinda sad. I guess part of me still loves the man he once was; part of me isn't done mourning. And I am afraid part of me hasn't yet moved past loving him.
When he started contacting me again in March and April this year, I desperately wanted to respond. I wanted to have him tell me he had quit drinking, he had gotten help, he was seeing someone to deal with his PTSD. But I didn't respond; I asked my LEO friend for advice ... and the Wolf stopped contacting me.
On the upside, I have found that since I learned he was out of the country for a while, I have been able to leave my windows open after twilight, which is quite nice, and I am not spooking at shadows quite as much.
Appreciate the small victories!
Saturday, June 23, 2012
2 comments:
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Enjoy your peace. But if you do try to contact him, make sure there is others involved such as a therapist. Otherwise, stay mute.
ReplyDeleteI have no plans to initiate contact, and even the thought of responding if he does again may be more wishful thinking that anything. And ya, the thought of having a neutral third party, such as a therapist, had crossed me mind.
ReplyDeleteI'm still impressed with my ability to sit in the living room whit the blinds up and the windows open when it's dark enough for someone outside to easily see inside!