Moving on ...

Wow guys; I know its been forever, and I know every time I pop in I say I'll come back and fill in the blanks, but ... forgive me if I indulge in another one of those "part of the story" posts.

Things have been wild - I did get laid off at the end of November, but just accepted a new position today, one that promises lots of cool opportunities  and good people to work with.

I've also been kinda, sorta, almost seeing someone.  We've only been together in groups with other people, but we have been texting and instant messengering almost every night.  We live in separate towns, but not too far away.  And no, he's not military, and he doesn't have PTSD.

Which brings me to tonight.

We were messengering, and he had to go do something, and he typed "I'll be right back", to which I replied "I'll be here" ... and then froze, and then burst out sobbing

Because that's what I used to say to Sebastian when he left - He'd hold me tight and tell me that he'd be back, I would say "I'll be here", and he would say "I know you will" and give me that grin ...

I know that he was in my life to help me heal and learn lessons, and that now he is gone from my life; I have accepted that.  But every once in a while those little memories sneak up and bite me in the ass.  I guess I just need to acknowledge them and honour them for what they are, and move forward. And remember to value what I have, for you never know how long it will last.

And if this new relationship goes forward, I should likely give the poor guy a heads up that if I randomly burst into tears, not to take it personally.  I am not sure how much of my history he knows; and most of the folks in this little small town don't know anything but the very basics.  But that conversation can wait.

Love you all.

There is a song called "Diamonds" from a Canadian Band called Chesterfield Inlet.  Unfortunately, they don't allow any of their stuff on You Tube, or I would link it for you.

So you know when I drill down and pull out a sample of what I'm standing on,
Its all still there, layer upon layer, its what I'm standing on ...
Hand over hand, I pull out the core
And the present weighs heavy on the time before,
turning all the wonders and moments into diamonds ...