Feeling Safe

The thoughts and feelings of the last month are going to come out of my head in random bits and pieces, likely not in the order that you want to hear it, but in the order my head seems to be dictating.

The thing that is at the top of my head right now:  someone's right to feel safe in their own house.

When things have gone south with the Wolf, in the past or this most recent time, a number of friends have offered their homes as "safe houses" where the Wolf is less likely to be able to track me.  Or, like Sebastian, where they want the Wolf to track me, so they can deal with him ... but that's another post.

(Thanks to the folks who read here who extended such offers ♥ )

I work with a fellow who is also a good friend; he does my same job in a different district.  Mid May, when the most recent BS with the Wolf started, he offered his home as shelter for a few days, if I needed a place to mentally and/or physically escape to.

His wife was not in agreement with his offer, which he made without consulting her, and it caused a huge fight between them. She was angry with him for "inviting danger into their home".  I took her side in this fight.

I admit I was, for the initial few moments, hurt by her reaction.  I very quickly realized, however, that she has every right to feel safe in her own home, and if my being there would compromise that, it wasn't a judgement or rejection of me.  It wasn't her wishing me danger; I am sure she realized I had many other options.  I do not know what she has dealt with in the past; I don't actually know her well at all.

I have realayed this story to a few friends, who get angry on my behalf, and the first question asked is "Do they have children?".  They do not, but why does that matter?  Is someone's right to feel safe themselves lessened by the fact they do not have children?  I do not think so.  Of course, I don't have children myself, either.

Maybe it is a coping mechanism on my part to step back and look at the reactions of others around me during this, but I find it fascinating the way people reacted - and trust me, there will be more posts on that too - but most of all, the way a number of people assumed that the reaction that was right for them, was the "only" right reaction, for eveyone else, and for me as well.