Sattelite phones. Video calls. E-mail. MSN. Blogs. FaceBook. Canada Post outlets on bases, mail service and parcel service through the forces.
If we need to make a decision on something, need to talk something over, bounce an idea off our partner, we can. We get regular reassurance that they are safe, well, alive.
Until it stops.
Spouses in the day of snail-mail only knew that they were holding the fort on their own. They knew that they had to be mom & dad, make those decisions with whatever support network they had in place. They didn't expect letters, and were, I am guessing, happy when they did get one. A lack of communication didn't make the dark nights any darker. No news was, often, good news.
I am not in any way saying that I would give up all the communication and contact that we have available to us. Not on your life.
But when that communication stops, a small part of me wonders if, without that expectation of contact, my mind and heart would be more at ease.
I understand that the reality of his job means he will be out of communication from time to time. My brain knows that. My heart resents it.
So I snuggle with my bear, and send him positive thoughts, send him my love. I know he can feel it across the miles. I know we have that connection, that he gets random warm fuzzies from me, and it gives me some comfort as well.
If you haven't picked up on it, no, I haven't had any contact with him yet.
(PS ~ No, none of the pics yesterday were of me, but they suited my mood)
Regardless of the availability of contact, it is still very hard on those left at home. The SO’s are the true heroes in any war and they deserve medals and commendations from the armed services. The troops are together doing their thing and sometimes wonder why everyone worries so much. All we have at home is our imaginations and we always lean toward the worry side. Fuckers better start talking NOW. That help?
ReplyDeleteI hear you. There's little worse than waiting for that email or call. Knowing he will be in contact as soon as he can doesn't help ease the hurt. Or rein in the imagination. Geeze, the places my mind goes when I don't hear from DM are truly ludicrous. I mean being in an air crash caused by a meteor strike, only to find you've landed in the middle of a zombie-alien firefight... yeah...
ReplyDeleteIt blows.
This is the first time for me having my man in a zone where comms lockdowns even exist... and yeah, it messes with you to have a sudden lack of communication. I just go with that "no news is good news" mantra until I get something; I don't know that there is anything else to do, really. Although kids are a good distraction.
ReplyDeleteYou know what, I do the mental comparisons, too - I have the letters my grandfather wrote home while he was aboard ship during WW2. They all came through censors, so nothing was really private, and there aren't all that many. When I was getting into a funk during his training time, one of my strategies is pretty much a "suck it up buttercup" kind of self-lecture reminding me of just how hard our grandmothers had it compared to today... it's not terribly sympathetic-sounding, though, so I don't generally give those kind of pep talks to anyone else. ;)